Waking Up
by tbossjenn
Summary: true love blossoms between our favorite characters (*sigh*), but will reality get in the way? (I've grouped them all together so ff.net won't wipe 'em out)
1. Waking Up

Waking Up

by tbossjenn

(standard disclaimers apply)

The moon glowed in the sky as the lone figure of a wolf quietly stalked her prey. With a sniff of her delicate nose she caught his scent. He was near. The wolf ran quickly but softly so as not to make a lot of noise. A human lived by the side of the mountain - away from the other humans in the nearby town. He was far enough away from the roads to be safe from thieves and murderers, and he had fortified his hut to protect himself from the animals of the forest. 

The small house was finally in sight, and for a moment the wolf paused under the cover of some bushes. For a long time she had watched the young man who lived inside, yet had never dared to approach him here while he was awake. Something inside of her had not been able to let her. Taking a deep breath, she leapt out of cover and closed the final yards. Tentatively she tried the door and was not suprised to find it unlocked. Though he had taken great care in giving himself enough protection from animals (he was not on friendly terms with _all_ of them), he always managed to forget to bar his door at night. Slipping inside, her eyes adjusted to the darkness as she made out his sleeping form on the heap of bearskins. 

San quietly pushed back her headdress. She had come there that night to see him not with the senses of a wolf but through those of a woman. Her eyes took in his handsome features as her slim fingers reached out to touch his hair. San wondered how such a gentle being could also be a fierce and capable warrior. "I know I never say or show what I feel," she whispered. "But I do feel something for you ... something that confuses and frightens me because you are ... a human." He was too deeply asleep to be aware of her presence, and this was good because she feared speaking such things to him while he was awake. Her fingers lingered over his lips, and she remembered the softness of them from the time she had to feed him from her own mouth in order to keep him alive. 

"San," murmured the soft voice from within the depths of sleep. San scuttled backwards, desperately trying to think of some excuse for her to be sneaking around in his hut in the middle of the night. But Ashitaka merely rolled over onto his side and continued to sleep. San picked up her headdress and became the wolf once more. Making her way back, she thought that staring down a bear as a wolf frightened her less than speaking to a man as a woman. San regretted sneaking around. She would love to ... no. She could not. 

* * *

"You smell of human. Did you hunt one down last night, San?"

San glared at her wolf brother. "It is none of your affair."

"What happens in the Wolf Clan _is_ my business, and you are still one of the clan, are you not?"

"I went to see Ashitaka last night."

"Why? He comes around often enough during the day," her other brother remarked. "I do not mind him, but it is a shame he has to stink so badly."

"Ashitaka does _not_ stink!" San indignantly replied. "He is something different, something better than them, he ..." she stopped when the wolves began to chuckle.

"We are just teasing, sister. We mean the boy no disrespect. But why do you stalk him at night when he sleeps? And why do you merely watch him from the bushes during the day? You should go and see him just as he comes here to see you."

"It's complicated, brother," San said.

"How so?" asked the other wolf. "When a wolf wants to take a lifemate, he confronts her without hesitation. He does not dance around the issue."

"Human mating rituals are different than ours," his brother answered. "Sometimes they dance around each other until one or both gives in, and there's no telling how long it will take for them to make up their minds. I think that is what you are doing, San."

"I do not act like a human!"

'Then stop this foolishness and confront the boy. It is hard, even for a wolf, to face a potential lifemate; but you have great courage, San."

* * *

Later that morning, San walked to the river with a secret dread in her heart. But it evaporated when she saw Ashitaka crouched beside the river. Yakkul and the two packhorses were drinking, and Ashitaka was filling his bowl. When he caught sight of San, he stood and greeted her. Walking towards him, San thought, _He's here! He came! _She knew it was silly to doubt him, for he always came for his regular visits. But lately she had become afraid that one of these days he would not come; that he would forget. Or worse: that he would be too busy spending time with one of the Iron Town girls. Though Ashitaka did not live in Iron Town, he still went there to help with its restoration. And many of the girls were still unmarried ...

Ashitaka fixed her with his warm gaze, and she quickly tried to bury her feelings. "Are you ready?" she asked brusquely. He nodded, and she proceeded to lead him toward the lake. A few days ago he had told her there was a shortage of food in the town, so she had promised to take him to the river's source where the fish were plentiful. No human, save for herself, had ever been there because it was located deep within the Forbidden Forest. San had agreed to take Ashitaka, but refused to take anyone else. She could not trust the humans. Not yet. 

During the hike, Ashitaka taught San a song he had learned in his village. As she sang the funny song with him, her stiffness melted away and they laughed together. When they reached the lake, Ashitaka surveyed their surroundings and said, "This is beautiful, San. How often do you come here?"

"Not often; usually when I have an appetite for fish. Or when I need to be alone."

They spent the day talking and laughing quietly while they fished. By that afternoon, the pack horses were loaded down with the catch.

"It's hot," Ashitaka said, taking off his shirt. "Let's go for a swim!" Yelling a battle cry, he took a flying leap into the lake.

"Ashitaka, you'll scare the fish away!" San giggled. "Are you trying to starve your people or something?" He suddenly jumped up and yanked her down into the water with a splash. "Oh, you'll pay for that!" she growled, her eyes shining with mischief.

Ashitaka yelped and swam away as San chased after him. She caught him easily and proceeded to shower him with a barrage of splashes. He quickly returned the favor, and when San was momentarily overwhelmed he took hold of her wrists and pulled her gently to him. "I've got you now!" he said triumphantly. They laughed, but then they gradually became silent as they caught their breath.

"You're still holding me, Ashitaka."

"I know." 

"Why?"

"Because ..." Ashitaka faltered. He looked at her helplessly for a moment, then bent his head and brushed his lips tentatively against hers. San stiffened and stared back at him in surprise. Ashitaka, his head still bent towards hers, whispered, "Don't be afraid, San." His dark eyes were full of hope and longing.

"I'm not," she answered, and then she kissed him back. The kiss deepened to the point where they forgot to tread water, and so they began to sink. The pair emerged sputtering and gasping for air.

Chuckling, Ashitaka said, "The next time we kiss, perhaps we should find a place where we don't have to worry about drowning."

"You are very wise," San replied with a smirk.

They sloshed to shore, and Ashitaka put his arms around her and said, "You know, with all the fish we caught by ourselves, imagine how many a group could catch."

"That must be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me," San remarked.

"How about it?"

"All right," San reluctantly agreed. "But I still don't like the idea of humans tramping around in the forest."

"I know," he said, drawing her close. "Thank you." He leaned forward and said softly, "I love you, San."

Upon hearing this, San froze and her emotional barriors slammed back into place. It was too much; _this_ was too much for her to handle all at once. "That's all you wanted, wasn't it?" she said coldly, pushing him away. "You're just using me to help the humans!"

"What are you talking about, San?" Ashitaka asked, wondering what he had done wrong.

"First you convince me to take you to the lake, and then you trick me into letting you bring the others. Fine, then! Bring as many humans as you want, I don't care! Just leave me alone!" 

Ashitaka was confused, but anger began to flush his cheeks. "I didn't trick you into doing anything, San. I really do love you; and if you weren't so afraid to let yourself get close to someone then you would give me a chance."

"You don't know a thing about me, human. I fear nothing, least of all you." San growled menacingly. Then she turned and ran into the forest.

* * *

But of course San found herself crouched in the bushes outside Ashitaka's hut later that afternoon. He had just returned from delivering the fish to Iron Town, and she could see that his clothes were still damp from the lake. She caught his scent, and it contained sadness mixed with anger. San remembered the look on his face before she ran away: he had been angry but his face had mainly held an expression of deep hurt. _He's just a human!_ she scolded herself. _You're getting yourself worked up for nothing! Now forget him and go back to the Wolf Clan where you belong!_ Suddenly, Ashitaka raised his head and seemed to be looking in her direction. She ducked down lower, hoping that he had not seen her. After a moment, he turned and went into the hut. Her displeasure at the idea of letting the humans go to the lake had merely been another excuse to keep herself separated from Ashitaka. San also realized that it had not been a very good one, and that lately she had been grasping for anything to give her reason to distrust him. Truth was, she had no real reason and was actually playing head-games with herself. _Oh, I _am_ acting like a human!_ she groaned. With a sigh, San hurriedly snuck away. 

* * *

The moon glowed in the sky as the graceful figure of a woman quietly entered the young man's hut. Watching him sleep, San nervously ran a hand through her hair. _He was right_, she thought, _I am frightened of loving him. But my brothers are also right: I must confront him. I am ready to end this dance._ Leaning forward, she caressed his cheek and spoke his name softly. Ashitaka abruptly sat up, and San stumbled backwards in surprise.

Concerned, Ashitaka said, "Wait, San, please don't go!"

She smiled and sat beside him on the bed. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere. I want to be with you, Ashitaka, and I have come to say that I am sorry for the way I acted today. I can explain ..."

Ashitaka wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "There's no need to explain anything. I _do_ know you, San; why else would I leave my door unbarred at night?"

San flushed and said, "You know about my sneaking around?"

"Yes, I can always sense when you are near, even when I'm asleep." Then he added shyly, "I was hoping that sooner or later you'd wake me up."

"And what were you planning to do once you were awake?"

"Just this," he replied, kissing her.

And San pulled away only for a brief moment to whisper, "I love you, Ashitaka."

the end

Author's Note: I hope this didn't wind up being _too_ sappy and/or _Blue Lagoon_-ish. This is my first romance fic, and I tried the best I could to keep it from inducing a gag-reflex. But then romances are _supposed_ to be sappy; so if I succeeded in making anyone float away on a cloud of happiness, then the fic has served its purpose.


	2. Playing House

Waking Up II: Playing House

by tbossjenn

Note: A few people said the first story would have been better as a series, so I decided to oblige. Here's part 2, and there'll be more parts to come.

Ashitaka opened his eyes and saw that it was still very early. He then realized that he was alone in the bed. _She's gone again_, he thought. He and San had been together since the night she had come to him. She had finally accepted him, and the tenuous bond that had formed in the moment he had first seen her with the wolves soon deepened into a love that was much stronger. Ashitaka had no doubt of her feelings for him - he need only to look into her face and watch her movements. Her body conveyed her emotions in ways that were as beautiful as poetry or music. And then there was her voice: gruff at times but also soft and lovely - especially when she whispered things into his ear, her breath warm against his face.

But there was still something between them - something about San that he was unable to reach. He secretly feared this unknown thing. The door opened, and San slipped inside. Ashitaka watched her remove the headdress, then quietly spoke her name.

San said, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Where did you go?"

Hesitating, she replied, "I went to see my brothers."

"This early in the morning?"

San's expression darkened, but she said nothing. Instead, she climbed into bed and snuggled against him, whispering, "Please don't ask me about this, Ashitaka. I'm happy being with you now, like this. Let's not ruin it." Tracing a finger along his jawline, she kissed him softly.

"All right, San." _For now_.

* * *

Yakkul greedily devoured his grain, causing Ashitaka to laugh and say, "Hold on, I haven't poured it all yet." He rubbed the elk's neck affectionately and asked, "Are you happy here, my friend? Do you ever miss home?" Yakkul, of course, gave no answer; but then a pair of arms snaked their way around Ashitaka's chest. He sighed and leaned back against his love. "Good morning, San."

"Morning! I've prepared some food; it's ready when you are."

Smiling, he turned to her and remarked, "Playing human, hmm?"

"Well, it just so happens that my lifemate is human, so I thought he'd probably expect such things," she replied, her eyes twinkling in merriment. "Since you don't seem to want your breakfast, I think I know some raccoons that would."

"In _that_ case, I'll gladly join you." Suddenly, he felt San stiffen against him.

"I hear a horse coming ... it's carrying two riders."

"Someone from Iron Town, no doubt." Seeing that San's face had become a stony mask, he quickly added, "The people in the town are our friends; you should trust them."

"The humans are_ your_ friends, Ashitaka," she answered, walking towards the hut. "Go and see what they want." 

"San, wait ..." he called after her. He was disappointed - he had hoped that she would have come to trust the humans by now. Then again, he couldn't honestly say that the people of Iron Town displayed any great trust in her. Both sides had suffered great losses in their war, and trust could not be easily won. The horse and its riders approached, and Ashitaka was pleased to see that they were Karouku and Toki. 

"Ashitaka! Hello!" Toki laughed, waving. The young woman was carrying a package

"Hello, friends! What brings you here?" Ashitaka replied.

"Toki thought it was a good time to come see you; it's been awhile," Karouku said. "Of course, I certainly wouldn't dream of denying my little flower _anything_ ..."

Toki glared at her husband and said, "What are you talking about? I practically had to drag you all the way up here! He's still whining about his arm, and it's been months since you saved him!"

Karouku flushed and answered sheepishly, "Well, it did take _some_ convincing but now I'm glad I came!"

Toki merely rolled her eyes in exasperation, then turned to Ashitaka and asked, "So where's San?"

"She's in the hut, but I don't think ..." Before he could finish, Toki abruptly ran off towards the hut with her bundle. Ashitaka sighed and finished his sentence: "... she wants to be disturbed."

Karouku turned to him and said, "Toki has brought a few wedding presents for you and San, even though the two of you are not married. I told her it was foolish, but she wouldn't listen to me." Ashitaka could tell that Karouku wanted to ask him why they were not married, but he was not willing to give his friend an explanation. It had long been known in Iron Town that they lived together, and he wondered what the people must think of their conduct. Society did not deem it proper for a man and woman to behave as husband and wife until they were wed. In truth, he had never asked San for her hand because he did not know how she would react. A wedding was traditionally symbolic of the man taking possession of his wife, and Ashitaka was afraid that this was what San would think he had planned for her all along.

* * *

"Hello, San!"

San had been in the middle of sharpening her spear, and she looked up in surprise at the sudden intrusion. A woman stood in the doorway smiling at her, and San narrowed her eyes and asked, "What do you want?"

"Why, I've come to congratulate you, of course! Ashitaka's the finest looking man I've seen in a long time - you've made a very good catch."

"You're congratulating me over my choice of lifemate?"

Toki began rambling without pausing for breath: "Yes, it's something that women ... I guess you could say human women ... do for each other. Choosing men is very important. After all, you only get to do it once and you'd better make it good. Well, I guess sometimes more than once. I don't know what I was thinking when I married Karouku, but at the time it seemed like a great idea. I do love the big dope, though, and I'm happy. What about you?"

The woman ended her train of speech so abruptly that it took a few minutes for San to realize she had stopped talking. "What do you mean, um ... what was your name?"

"Oh, sorry! My name's Toki, I'm a friend of Ashitaka's. I just asked if the two of you are happy."

San's first instinct was to tell Toki to go back to her own kind, but found instead that she was beginning to like the flippant young woman. She said, "Yes, we are very happy together."

"I'm glad," Toki answered warmly, walking over to San. "I brought the two of you some practical things every married couple should have."

Startled, San replied, "But we're not married."

"I know you're not officially married, but I still think of you as husband and wife. Did I say something wrong?" San suddenly looked troubled.

"No, these gifts are wonderful, Toki. Thank you, we do need them. But I'm wondering - do I shame Ashitaka by being here? I know it is customary for your people to be married before being together."

"Has he asked you?"

"No, we've never discussed it. But he loves me - he does."

"Then that's all that really matters. I wouldn't worry about it, San." Toki put a comforting hand on San's shoulder, and the girl was suddenly glad to have a female to talk to, even if she was human.

"It's just that sometimes Ashitaka seems distant, and I think he expects something more of me. He also misses his people, but he doesn't talk about _them_ too much, either."

"Then I would say it's about time the two of you start talking. Ashitaka seems to be the silent type, and that's fine for most of the time but not when he's with you. Remember that."

Karouku and Toki stayed for supper, then rode back to Iron Town before nightfall. San had noticed with amusement that Karouku was very nervous around her, which wasn't surprising given the numerous times she and the wolf tribe had attacked the ox drivers. Observing him closely, she agreed with Toki that he was a "big dope", but then again he was nice and very considerate towards his wife. _Interesting_, San thought, _Humans can be pleasant when they're not destroying everything in sight._ She also thought that husbands could care a great deal for their wives. When the couple left, San embraced Toki and waved at the pair as they rode away. 

Ashitaka put his arms around her and said, "Thank you for giving them a chance, love. It means so much for you to accept my friends."

"I like Toki. Karouku, too. They're very nice."

"Yes, they are; and so are a lot of humans if you'll give them a chance."

"Maybe," San replied, hoping that Ashitaka wouldn't press her any further. To her relief, he did not. Instead, the two of them sat and watch the sunset give way to stars. He pointed to certain stars and told her stories about them - stories he had learned from the wisewoman in his village. The legends were beautiful, and San was glad to hear the delight in Ashitaka's voice as he named off various gods and goddesses and their heroic exploits and love affairs. He rarely spoke of his people anymore, and when he did it usually made him sad. A wolf cried in the night, and San had to fight the urge to go join him. _Soon, my brother, soon_. Finally, it was too cold to stay out in the night air so they went into the hut and snuggled together in the bed. San thought of what Toki had said about talking openly with Ashitaka, but at the moment they were so content in just being with each other that she couldn't ruin the moment with an emotional confrontation. They spoke of preparing for the impending winter, and then Ashitaka told her a joke he had heard from Karouku earlier that day. They laughed, and San had yet another reason for liking the clumsy human. Then she and Ashitaka stopped talking and concentrated on something else for awhile.

Later that night as Ashitaka slept, San crept quietly out of bed and got dressed. Her brothers would be waiting for her, and she had to hurry. Grabbing her headdress and spear, she did not notice Ashitaka watching as she slipped out the door.

* * *

"Okay now, watch carefully. This is how a master does it," Ashitaka said in mock seriousness. He quickly looked over to San, who was obviously suppressing a laugh. "This is important San, pay attention!" San abruptly sat up straight and put on a look of pure innocence. "All right, hold your chopsticks like this, pick up the bowl in your other hand, dip your chopsticks into the bowl, grab a piece of meat ... see how I'm doing it? Now you try." 

San picked up her chopsticks, and Ashitaka quickly adjusted her grip. Examining the chopsticks, San said, "How can you hold onto these things, Ashitaka?"

"Practice."

"Well, I don't see the point. I can eat perfectly well with just my hands."

"Please, just try it."

San wrestled with the meat for a few minutes until she was finally able to catch a piece between the sticks. Her hand trembled as she raised it to her mouth, but before she could take a bite she lost her grip and the meat plopped back into the bowl. Sighing in exasperation, she dropped the chopsticks and popped some meat into her mouth using her fingers.

"How do you expect me to civilize you if you won't cooperate, Princess Mononoke?"

Nestling into his lap, San grinned wickedly and replied, "Admit it, you love me being uncivilized." She plucked a piece of meat out of the bowl and fed it to him.

Sucking the remaining juice off her fingers, Ashitaka said, "Well, when you put it that way ..." The heavy knock on the door startled them both, causing San to drop her bowl. Ashitaka looked at her and asked, "You didn't hear a rider coming?"

"I was too busy concentrating on my chopstick technique, love."

"I'd better see who it is." Ashitaka found a very agitated Gonza standing on his doorstep.

"Lady Eboshi requests that both of you come and see her at once."

"What is this all about, Gonza?" Ashitaka asked, but then San stood up and glared at their visitor.

"What right does that woman have to order us around?" she demanded. 

Gonza eyed her warily, and Ashitaka noticed that the warrior kept his hand close to his sword. Of all the people in Iron Town, Eboshi had to send the one who still held the bitterest grudge towards San. "My lady is not ordering you, wolf girl, she is asking," Gonza replied, visibly struggling to keep his temper in check. "Something urgent has come up, something that you two should know about. It concerns your precious forest."

"What is it?" she asked.

"The Emporer has declared war on Iron Town."

to be continued


	3. Words Exchanged

Waking Up III: Words Exchanged 

by tbossjenn

Note: This is part 3 of the Waking Up series - you should read parts 1&2 first so this makes sense. However, if you only want pure romantic fluff then just read part 1 and imagine they live happily ever after. The rest of the stories actually have plot, which means San and Ashitaka aren't exactly lying on a bed of roses. Still here? Great! By the way, I obviously don't own Princess Mononoke, so no lawsuits.

---------------

"Hello Ashitaka; San," Lady Eboshi said. "Thank you for coming."

"My lady, Gonza says that Iron Town is at war with the emperor," Ashitaka replied. San, standing by his side, said nothing. 

"Gonza has embellished the facts a bit, as usual," the lady said, sparing her captain a withering glance. "I have received a message from Jiko that Lord Osano is on his way to see the emperor. Osano still wants Iron Town, but the Nightwalker wiped out his entire army. He's going to ask the emperor for a new one, along with his blessing."

"Are you sure you can trust Jiko's word?"

"Fairly sure. We parted on good terms. Besides, if Jiko is my enemy then he wouldn't have bothered to warn me. I'm more concerned about his news. If Lord Osano gains the emperor's favor, then I'm not sure if I can contest him."

"Who is this emperor? What is his power?" San demanded.

"Well, well, the wolf girl has a voice. The emperor rules over the whole of the island."

Raising an eyebrow, San said, "Island?"

"Yes. In essence, the emporer has authority over this land and its people. Over _you_ and _I_."

"_No one_ has power over me."

"Perhaps not." Glancing over at Ashitaka, Eboshi added, "But then I wouldn't be so sure. At any rate, if Osano is successful then there may be very little I can do."

"What does all this have to do with us?" San asked.

"If Osano gets the town, then he will want the iron that lays tucked away under your lovely forest." San fell silent, and she glared at Eboshi with cold blue eyes.

Ashitaka rubbed San's shoulders reassuringly, then asked, "What do you plan to do?"

"For now, we must wait until we hear from Jiko again. I also know some people who follow the politics more closely than I. Let's find out how much power he actually has. I think it is unlikely that he would trouble himself over such a localized matter, but we must not be caught unprepared."

San shook her head and said, "Even after your truce, you humans still manage to find some way to destroy the forest. I won't help you this time! We can fend for ourselves!" San turned and stalked angrily out of the hall.

"Stupid wolf girl," Eboshi muttered. "Are you going after her?"

"No, it's best to leave her alone when she's like this. I can find her later."

"Will you help us, if she will not?" 

"I'm sorry, but my loyalty is to San," Ashitaka answered. "I will not betray her, but I will speak to her."

* * *

San ran through the town, out the gates and up the hilly countryside to the place where her brothers waited for her. "Brothers!" she gasped happily, flinging her arms around the necks of the white wolves. They nuzzled her and growled their own greetings. Climbing onto the back of one, she said, "Please take me home, I need to go home." The three of them raced through the trees, the scenery flashing by so fast that the wind dried San's tears. She was glad for this, because she couldn't bear the thought of her brothers seeing her act so ...

_human_.

San wrinkled her nose at the thought, but realized that with each passing day she was becoming more like a human. She did not like this, for she was a wolf and would always be so. What was Ashitaka doing to her? San shook off this thought and instead concentrated on the powerful animal beneath her. Her brothers were so strong, so beautiful; and she again felt envy towards them. They did not have human forms or human problems to contend with. They could be themselves without having someone trying convince them they were something they were not. 

The wolves reached Moro's cave, and San slipped off the wolf and walked out onto the overhanging cliff. She remembered the night she had slept in the cave with Ashitaka and how he had gotten up and walked out there in the middle of night when he thought she was asleep. Moro had advised him to jump and end it all. Would the wolf god have ever said the same to San? At the edge, San sat down and looked out over the valley. The forest was in danger again, and there were no more gods left to protect it. The woman was already devising a plan - San had seen it in her eyes. She knew that this plan somehow involved her and her brothers; and despite her current peace with the town, she did not like the idea of defending those people again. _No doubt Ashitaka has already joined Eboshi's army_, San thought bitterly. _He loves those humans, he will do anything for them_. However, she quickly chastised herself for thinking such a thing. She knew that her love was devoted to her above everything else. But he would still take Eboshi's side in this matter, and he would try in his peacemaking way to convince San to do the same. San sighed and thought, _Human problems_._ It's always human problems_. 

She could remember back to the time when the forest and its lands were free of humans. Moro, San, and her brothers roamed freely as the proud wolf tribe; every living thing in the forest only had to fear the sharp fangs of a fierce animal predator, and they all stood in awe of the great Forest Spirit. But then the humans arrived, and with them came the fear of unnatural death. Death in the forest was, paradoxically, an essential part of survival. Predators, such as the wolves, killed for food. Death by human hand, however, was usually meaningless and unnecessary. Humans killed every living thing they could lay their hands on, including the sacred trees. 

Including the Forest Spirit.

San had thought the nightmare was over, but now this new threat was upon them and she could think of nothing to do to stop it. Her brothers laid down behind her, and she leaned back into their soft white pelts. 

"Sister," one said, "Your pretty human clothes have been torn."

San looked down at the simple kimono Ashitaka had bought for her from a traveling merchant about a week ago. Indeed, the skirt must have caught on some thorns for it was severely torn. "I suppose Ashitaka will have my head for wearing it in the forest," she replied. San did not care for the garment because it was large and it billowed when she walked. Ashitaka had encouraged her to wear it because he had taken it upon himself to teach her how to be a proper human. San longed for the simple blue dress and white skin jerkin she had worn in her carefree wolf girl days, which were not so long ago. "Brother, do you think I have changed?"

"We do not see much of you these days, San. You have been tamed by that human, I think."

"I don't want to be tamed. I want to stay the same as I always was."

"Change is natural, sister, you should not fear it. But do not lose sight of who you truly are. If your mate cares for you, then he will understand. If not, kill him."

"Brother!"

The wolf merely grinned, but San could not be sure as to whether or not he was kidding.

* * *

Ashitaka rose to greet her when she finally came home. "San, are you all right?"

"Yes, but Eboshi's news has made me so tired. Why did this have to happen now, Ashitaka?"

"The real world has the tendency to get in the way," he replied, taking her in his arms and holding her close. "But we mustn't give up hope - Eboshi said there's a good chance that Lord Osano will fail."

"He will not fail - I know it," San said bitterly. "Humans never seem to fail at getting what they want."

"Let's not talk about this now. Come, I've prepared some food for you."

"I'm not hungry, love."

"You need to eat, and we could practice with chopsticks again. You're beginning to get used to them."

San tore away from his grasp and said, "I've told you time and time again, Ashitaka - I don't want to use them. I don't need them."

Ashitaka looked surprised, but then said, "All right, I'm sorry for pushing you. But I'd still feel better if you ate something." They sat down together to eat, but a few minutes later San put down her bowl and began to pace nervously around the room. "Why are you doing that?"

"It's so small in here; it's so cramped. Why did you make the hut so small?" she asked.

"I was living here alone at the time. I suppose I should have considered future living arrangements, though."

"What's that supposed to mean? You were planning this for me all along?"

"San, I'm not sure what you're talking about ..."

"Before we became lifemates, you had already been planning to keep me here with you!"

Keeping his eyes carefully trained on her restless form, Ashitaka stood and angrily said, "I have never planned to 'keep' you anywhere, and I'm not keeping you here now." But then he softened and said, "You're upset, love. That's why you're angry."

She stopped and looked at him, uncertain. Finally, she answered, "You're right; I am upset. But there's something else. There's something wrong between us, Ashitaka."

He took her in his arms and said, "There's nothing wrong, everything's fine. It's this new threat that has us both so tense. But we'll get through this, you'll see." 

She shook her head and replied, "It's not just that; it's _us_. The way we're pretending to be happy when there's something obviously wrong."

"You mean like how you keep things from me."

"I don't keep secrets from you."

"Then tell me where you go in the middle of the night. I would never prevent you from doing as you pleased, so why keep it a secret?"

San stood back and answered, "Because you wouldn't like it."

"Try me."

"I go hunting with my brothers, that's all. But I know you don't like killing when _you _don't think it's necessary."

"You're right, it is unnecessary," he said. "Why kill when we have plenty of food saved here? Needless killing is not the Emishi way." 

"I enjoy hunting with my brothers. It's all I have left of my old life and I won't give it up because of your damned Emishi code of ethics! I've already given up too much!"

Ashitaka clentched his jaw, and San could tell that her remark on the Emishi had made him very angry. "What have you given up?! We live in the forest, away from humans. We visit your brothers all the time."

"It's not the same, Ashitaka. I don't like wearing these new clothes or using chopsticks or playing human."

"But don't you see how things have changed? For both of us? I need ..." Ashitaka bit his lip, then continued: "I need a wife, San. I need a home and family, and I want to have those things with you." She realized that this was the secret Ashitaka kept from her - his wish for them to build a life together. But why didn't he tell her this before? "I can't see it happening if you won't see the truth," he continued. "You're a human now; that Moro has released you from her spell so that you can live the kind of life you were meant to have."

San suppressed the rage that threatened to consume her, for normally she would have slit the throat of anyone who dared to speak badly about her mother. But this was Ashitaka, the man she still loved despite this strange argument that had seemed to materialize out of nowhere. She knew, though, that it was actually a long time coming. "It was no spell," she said firmly. "Moro was my mother - my true mother. I am human in form, but my life and spirit are those of a wolf of the forest. No matter how many kimonos you buy me or how many meals I can prepare, I will always be a wolf. Please understand this, love."

It seemed that Ashitaka was not listening, for he was staring at her throat. San looked down and saw that he was looking at the crystal dagger he had given her in exchange for his life - and as a token of his love. "Sometimes I wish you could be more like ..." he whispered, leaving his sentence unfinished. It was then San suspected that she was not the first girl to own the dagger, and her sudden jealousy made her completely lose her temper.

"I'm a wolf. Wolves kill. And I used to kill humans because they were destroying my tribe and my forest. But then you're not innocent of such crimes, are you? You're a killer the same as I am!" Ashitaka flinched as he was reminded of the time the demon curse had caused him to brutally slay samurai warriors. He tensed, and San saw an anger there that she had not seen since the curse had taken full possession of him during her fight with Lady Eboshi.

Ashitaka grabbed her arm and shouted, "You're human, and you're to be my wife! When I tell you to do something you will do it or ..." he faltered, suddenly realizing what he was saying. Regret was written all over his face, but he could not undo his words.

"I am not your wife, Ashitaka. I am better than that. I don't belong here, and I was a fool to think that I would. We've only been happy together when we were in bed. Understand that I will never be human, for I am wolf. I think I should go back to where I belong." San quickly gathered the possessions that were truly hers: the spear, headdress, and the blue dress and jerkin. She stepped out into the night and did not look back. 

Ashitaka did not try to stop her.

* * *

Eboshi and her company rode through the forest towards the Sacred Pool. It was several weeks ago that she had assured the Princess Mononoke that her forest would probably not fall under attack, yet now Eboshi had to tell her that she had been wrong. Lord Osano was in the process of assembling an army that had been given to him with the emperor's blessing and would be marching towards Iron Town within a month. But there was still a chance; if only Eboshi could convince that bull-headed girl to go along with her plans. The break between San and Ashitaka didn't help matters much, either. Ashitaka would have been extremely helpful and Eboshi could have saved herself this trip. Iron Town and the forest were at peace, but she knew that many of the animals would try and tear out her throat if given the chance. This was why she had surrounded herself with guards - she could no longer defend herself as well with only one arm. The company neared the pool, but there was no sign of San and her wolves. 

"What now, my lady?" Toki asked, pulling her horse close beside her.

"We wait. This pool is still sacred to San, and I'm sure she'll be here sooner or later."

"Hopefully sooner; this forest gives me the creeps," Korouku complained.

"Oh, hush! The lady doesn't want to hear your whining!"

"But sweetness ..."

Eboshi smiled at this amusing exchange between the loving couple, but then she froze and said, "Did you hear that?"

"What?" asked a guard, but then they were all startled by the small white figure that seemingly leaped down from nowhere.

"What are you doing here?" the Princess Mononoke asked.

"We've come to see you, actually," Eboshi replied. "Osano has been granted his army, and he is assembling it as we speak. I would say we have about a month before he arrives."

"You told me the emperor wouldn't be interested in your town."

"He's not interested in it; he's interested in something else." Eboshi slid off her horse and approached San, who eyed her warily.

"Be careful, my lady" cautioned one of the guards. 

"It's all right, I trust her. As do Korouku and Toki." She turned her attention back to San and said, "My sources have informed me that although the emperor holds a powerful title, he does not actually hold the power in government. The shoguns are in control, and they use him like a puppet. I was right when I said he wouldn't be interested in a local dispute, for he has given Osano an army for an entirely different reason."

"Why?"

"He wants to use the power that can wipe out hundreds of men in one blow in order to wrest the power back from the shoguns."

"But that's impossible; that power disappeared when the Nightwalker died."

"Yes, we know that but Osano and the emperor do not. Osano has no doubt promised to give him this power in return for control over my iron works."

San looked at her carefully and asked, "Are you going to do anything?"

Eboshi was pleased, for this was a sign that San might be willing to help her. "Yes, I plan to raise an army of my own. The emperor's power is limited, and I can fight against it. But I will need your help."

"What can I do?"

"I know for certain that I can defeat the emperor, but his name still makes him seem as powerful as a god to many people. It will take some convincing to get them to fight against their emperor. The only entities more powerful than an emperor are spirits and gods; so we will make it known that the Princess Mononoke and the forest spirits endorse this venture. Everyone who helps us will be blessed by the gods."

"You want to use me to trick some men into volunteering for your army. Should I also make it known that you killed all the gods and spirits that were left in this forest?"

Eboshi flinched, then said, "I want to make amends for what I have done in the past. Nothing can change what has already happened, but I can still help you protect what is left of your forest. Please, you must understand that we can only get through this if we are united."

"This is all your fault. If you hadn't destroyed the spirit, then this never would have happened. I saved you people once because of Ashitaka, but I will not save you this time. We can take care of the forest without your help," San coldly replied. She began to walk away, but stopped when Toki called out to her.

"San, my lady is right about this. If we can't get an army together than there will be nothing to stop Osano's samurai; not even you," Toki said. "We're friends; if you won't trust Lady Eboshi then please trust _me_."

San gazed at her for a moment, then said, "I will think about it, Eboshi; but no promises." With that, she disappeared into the trees.

"Hm, that went better than I expected," Eboshi remarked. "Come on, we'd better get back before nightfall."

"Do you think she will help us, lady?" Korouku asked.

"Perhaps; perhaps not. I've done what I can to enlist her help and if she refuses then she is a fool."

* * *

There wasn't a sound in the night, and the deer calmly grazed in the open meadow. But Ashitaka knew she was there. He sat in a tree on the edge of the clearing, careful to stay downwind. Then he saw her. The Princess Mononoke rode tall and proud astride one of her wolf brothers; using the strength and speed of his legs. The wolves rushed upon the herd so quickly that the deer had little time to react. They panicked as they were rounded up by the other wolf. San leaped into the middle of them, knife in hand. A scream pierced the air. There were more cries as her wolf brothers brought down their own prey. The remaining deer leaped into the relative safety of the trees, and the animals passed by so close to Ashitaka that he could feel their fright. The Moro tribe remained in the clearing with their prizes. San stood up and rubbed some blood off her face, and Ashitaka was suddenly reminded of the very moment he had first seen her sucking the poisoned blood out of Moro's wound. She was so coarse and wild; so full of strength and power. She was so beautiful. What had ever possessed him to try and make a human out of someone who was so much more? Ashitaka wanted nothing more than to go down to her and apologize; to beg forgiveness and be blessed with her love once more. He wanted to hold her in his arms. Instead, he merely watched as the triumphant wolves carried their kill out of sight. 

* * *

The afternoon air was chilly, and Ashitaka drew his cloak more securely around him. He and Yakul were riding down to Iron Town, where he was to discuss war plans with Lady Eboshi. Ashitaka was not looking forward to this new war. After he and San had saved the people of Iron Town from the Nightwalker, a truce had been forged between the humans and the creatures of the forest. Ashitaka had believed that this uneasy trust could only grow stronger, and had also believed that he and San could allow themselves to settle down happily together. This was all he really wanted: a wife, family, and a place to call home. It wasn't much, but it was his dream. He did not want another war; especially one that was not really his own. In return for the cure to the demon curse, Ashitaka had helped to end the conflict between the forest and the humans and had also helped to rebuild Iron Town. He now owed them nothing, and he was tired of playing peacemaker.

And then there was San. Ashitaka rarely saw her anymore, and it was painfully obvious that she had changed her mind about being with him. He knew that it was his own fault. He had pushed her too hard to become something she was not - something she could never be. San had been willing to share herself with him, and he had chosen to ignore the wolf in order to mold her into his idea of a perfect wife. This was a terrible mistake, for the wolf was at the very core of her being. To reject it would mean rejecting San herself. Watching her with the wolves the night before had made him realize this. He briefly wondered what things might have been like if he had brought Kaya with him. Kaya had been like a sister to him, and there was talk of marriage. Ashitaka would have been happy with her, but he could not have taken her away from everything she had ever known. Besides, the way he had cared for Kaya could not be compared to the strong love he still felt for San. 

Now there was this war, and Ashitaka found himself torn between facing possible death in a war he didn't want to fight or living out the rest of his days as a hermit. _Decisions, decisions_, he thought to himself. He supposed there was no real choice.

He soon found himself standing, yet again, before the Lady Eboshi.

"You have decided to fight for me, then?" she asked.

"Yes; your people are my friends, and I would like to help."

"And what about San?"

"She is free to do as she pleases, but I doubt she will come."

Ashitaka felt her presence before she spoke: "I am here. What would you have of me?" He turned, and there stood San: spear in hand and wearing the magnificent wolf headdress. The crystal dagger was gone.

Eboshi smiled and said, "I'm glad you decided to join us, San. As you know, your role will be crucial. You, Ashitaka, and I will go with a company of my men to buy soldiers. It will take some persuasion to make them fight, but these people strongly believe in the powers of the nature spirits. If they see a wild girl who commands the spirits - who is a spirit herself- then we may very well win them over to our side."

"These 'spirits' you speak of have minds of their own," San replied. "I don't have any power over them."

"Maybe so, but you have more power than I and that is enough for our purposes," Eboshi answered. "As for you, Ashitaka, you have already proven yourself to be a great warrior. You will be a valuable asset to my army. We leave tomorrow morning. San, please bring your wolves with you."

"I will," San said, then she turned and left.

"By the gods, Ashitaka, what has happened between the two of you?"

Ashitaka, who had been gazing at the girl's retreating figure, turned his tired eyes back on the lady and said nothing.

to be continued

Note: For those of you who want to flame me, remember that the story isn't over yet. I would love some feedback, though. 


	4. ... Comes a Distant Lullaby ...

Waking Up IV: ... Comes a Distant Lullaby ...

by tbossjenn

(part 4 of the Waking Up series) 

Disclaimer: The characters and movie don't belong to me. Wish they did.

Breathing in the crisp air, Eboshi sighed in contentment. She and her company from Iron Town had begun their journey to gather a new army, and she realized that even after everything she had accomplished, battle was what she loved most. Of course, this was not a conquest so she could not take much pleasure from it. But the act of assembling an army was nonetheless thrilling. Eboshi had become bored in Iron Town, for examining iron and making money were not as exciting as she had expected. She had to admit that though San her wolves had been a nuisance, they had also been a fun diversion. Since the peace had started, there had been nothing to do but sit around, and the trips for rice were the only things she seemed to look forward to anymore. Gonza had begged her to stay in town and let him buy the army, but Eboshi couldn't pass up this chance for a little adventure. Besides, Gonza didn't have the brains to pull it off. This business required finesse, not red-faced bluster.

The lady was well known for her cleverness, and her father had often said it was a shame she wasn't a man. _She_ wasn't disappointed; she loved being a woman. It was the traditional role of women in society that was the problem, and she had dedicated her life to changing it. She was very proud of her girls because they worked hard to make the iron. Though the men still disapproved of brothel girls pumping the bellows, they all knew their business would fall apart without the women. Eboshi found it amusing that men should think they were better than women just because they have a little something extra between their legs. Of course, she realized that she shouldn't have expected the emperor to turn Lord Osano away. No doubt the emperor knew that even if Osano couldn't keep his promise to deliver the ultimate weapon, he could still compensate with a large portion of Eboshi's iron.

Eboshi glanced back over her shoulder at San and the wolves, who had all taken position behind the humans. The Princess Mononoke had said very little since they began their trip; she spoke to Eboshi and the others only when she had to and spent almost all of her time with her brothers. The girl said nothing to Ashitaka, and this obviously caused him great pain. The young man had become even more withdrawn than usual.

The company entered the town of Taira near sundown, and the villagers dropped what they were doing to get a closer look at the strange young man on the red elk. Eboshi shook her head and thought, _He sure can draw a crowd. Perhaps I should have used him instead of the wolf girl_. Lord Kei walked towards her with his arms outstretched, shouting with great fanfare, "My Lady Eboshi, I welcome you to Taira! We are greatly honored by your presence!" A great smile stretched across his face. A rather nice-looking man in his prime, he was older than Eboshi by about ten years. When she had been 13, her father planned on marrying her to him. Eboshi had refused, which horrified her father but brought great amusement to Kei. He had a strange sense of humor, and had convinced her father to forgive her rather than have her executed on the spot. The lady and the warrior had remained in touch through letters and occasional meetings, and he still didn't take her seriously even after all she had accomplished. She was merely amusing to him, and it secretly burned her up inside.

"My Lord Kei, it is a great honor to be here," she said, smiling in spite of herself. 

"What happened to your arm, my dear?" he asked as she approached. 

_He's concerned, how touching,_ she thought. "It's a long story, but I'm all right. You understand why I'm here?"

"Oh yes!" he laughed. "My little Eboshi is in a war. Of course I'll help. Who are you fighting?"

"Lord Osano - along with the emperor's army."

Kei stopped and looked at her, his expression deadly serious. "You've declared war on the emperor?"

"He's declared war on me, actually."

"And you want my help?" he shook his head and said, "We'll talk about this tonight. For now, I'll let you refresh yourself from your journey."

A servant showed Eboshi to a spacious room within Kei's house, while the rest of her company was to camp outside. A hooded figure soon entered the room, and the lady dismissed the servants. 

Removing the hood, San asked, "Why did you send for me? What do you want?"

"I needed to give you this," Eboshi replied, tossing her a bright bundle.

"What is it?"

"Your costume. You are to wear it tonight when I present you to Lord Kei."

Looking at the garment in distaste, San said, "What am I supposed to be, some kind of flower princess?"

"Kei will be expecting a glorious apparition, not some scruffy girl in animal skins."

The wolf girl growled and took a step forward, but the lady just smiled. "Trust me on this one. By the way, what happened between you and Ashitaka, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I do mind."

"Well, seeing how Toki has been left in charge of the town and I'm the only other woman here, then perhaps it would help to discuss it with me. I doubt you talk to those wolves about this sort of thing."

"Ashitaka and I are no longer together and never will be again. The rest is none of your concern."

"Never is a long time, isn't it?" Eboshi said thoughtfully. "A pity that such a lovely young man should go to waste. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if one of my girls manages to catch him. They're all in love with Ashitaka."

"He's free to do as he pleases." 

_She certainly speaks bravely enough,_ Eboshi thought. "I'm willing to bet that he's of noble blood. If I were to marry him, we'd have fine children to inherit Iron Town." As she said this, she studied San's reaction. The girl said nothing, but Eboshi was sure she had seen San visibly bristle against her words. "Anyway, we have more important matters at hand than marriage. Go get some sleep; I'll be by later to help you prepare."

* * *

The sun was so warm, and San struggled to open her eyes despite the temptation to fall back asleep. Looking at the young man who slept beside her, she smiled at the sound of his soft, deep breathing. After a swim in the lake, the two of them had lain down in the tall grass to dry in the sun. Shading her eyes, she saw that it was now well into the late afternoon. San snuggled back down against her love and laid her head on his chest. He was so full of life, even when he slept. There had been many nights in which she woke and merely gazed at that handsome face. She savored the sounds of his heartbeat and took in his scent. San hated to wake Ashitaka up, for he looked so lovely like this. But then his eyes and the way he looked at her were even lovelier. Leaning close to his ear, she said, "Ashitaka, it's time to wake up." He stirred and mumbled something, his face grimacing at the sudden disturbance. San reached over and kissed his firm lips, her fingers stroking his cheek. Ashitaka soon responded in kind by turning and wrapping his arms around her. 

His dark eyes opened. "You let me fall asleep."

She nuzzled his neck, saying, "You caught me. What do you plan to do with me?"

Ashitaka chuckled softly. "Hmm. I think I'll punish you terribly."

"Oh my. Should I be frightened?"

"Of course you should!" he said with false bravado. "I am Ashitaka the warrior! I come from lands far to the east! I -" San quickly silenced him with another kiss. "You always know what to say," he whispered.

"I try. You know, we really should be getting back."

"Why?" he groaned, rolling onto his back and pulling San on top of him. He held her tightly, as if he wanted to hold onto her forever. "Aren't you happy where we are now? This is the only place I ever want to be."

She laughed, saying, "So we should stay here forever, just as we are now?"

"Yes!"

"And what do we do when winter comes?"

"I'll keep you warm."

Ashitaka's arms loosened, suggesting he was finally satisfied that she was actually there and would never leave him. San pressed her cheek once more against his chest, and his hand reached up and gently caressed her hair. "It would be nice just to stay here," she said. "But it's time to go back, love."

He sighed and sat up, still holding her close against him. Resting his head on her shoulder, he asked, "We can continue this at home, then?" San giggled and said yes. Ashitaka touched the crystal dagger she always wore, then they stood up. He whistled for Yakul, who stood grazing a few feet away. He walked towards the elk, but San found that she couldn't follow him. She couldn't move. 

"Ashitaka!"

He leaped onto Yakul and rode off.

"Ashitaka!"

San awoke in her tent cold and alone. She had somehow managed to wriggle out of the bearskin blanket, and she pulled it tightly around her body. She desperately clung to the dream before it could fade away. She remembered that day - it had been at the very end of summer before the cold weather set in. The sun had been warm, the grass soft, and the crystal dagger had glittered in the sunlight ... 

The dagger. San quickly jumped up and grabbed her pouch, dumping the contents until she found it. After she had left Ashitaka she had stopped wearing it to show him she now rejected his love. Nevertheless, she couldn't bear to part with it even though she knew she should give it back. San now put it around her neck and remembered that special day that had worked its way into her dreams. Everything about him had felt so good, and he had truly loved her. She had never experienced such love until he came. Moro and the wolf tribe loved her, of course, but that was different than the love two humans could share. And now it was gone - destroyed by Ashitaka. San was back with her wolf family, but for some reason it was not the same as it had been before. Her brothers had casually offered to kill him for her, but she was so horrified by the suggestion that she refused to talk to them for days. All she could think about was: _Ashitaka's missing, Ashitaka's gone ... He will be with someone else and he'll hate me and forget me._ She was a fool for thinking this way, for it was Ashitaka who had hurt her and she should know better than to go crawling back to him like a dog. But despite everything that had passed between them, San found herself wanting him; aching for him. Was this what it was to have human feelings? San desperately wanted to rid herself of them. Then the pain she saw in Ashitaka's eyes whenever he looked at her wouldn't hurt her anymore.

San rolled over and rubbed her eyes. She supposed Eboshi would come soon to dress her up and show her off in front of that lord. Everyone had been surprised when San had agreed to the lady's plan, especially San. Despite everyone's attempts to convince her, in the end she had decided on her own that she had no choice but to help Eboshi. She still hated her, but there was no other way. With no gods to protect the forest, this emperor man could easily wipe it out. San had never left home before, and she had been entranced by the new and strange lands they passed through. Upon arriving in this town, Eboshi had told her to hide her wolves and cover herself in a plain cloak and mask. The lady said it was important that no one be aware of San's presence until she appeared at Kei's banquet. Eboshi's plan to dazzle the lord seemed foolish to San, but the lady insisted. The girl resented taking orders from her, and Eboshi seemed to take pleasure from this. And now that damned woman wanted to marry her Ashitaka ... 

No. He was no longer _her_ Ashitaka. San had freed him to choose another for his wife; but she had not thought that _Eboshi_ would want him. "Damn her!" she muttered.

As if she had been summoned, Eboshi stuck her head in the tent. "Come with me now, San, it will be easier to prepare you in my room."

In the lady's quarters, San soon found herself draped in the brightest kimono she had ever seen and Eboshi was applying something white to her face. "What's that for?"

"It's makeup; it's mainly used for the theater but it will serve our purpose well. After all, you are about to put on a performance."

"If this man is a friend of yours, why do you need _me_? He should just give you the army."

"It doesn't work that way. Kei is not a fool; he will not enter a war unless he thinks he sure to win. We must make him believe the gods are on his side."

"I still think this is a stupid plan."

"Of course you do. Now hold still." Eboshi stood back to admire her work. "Wonderful! Look in the mirror."

San walked cautiously to the mirror and couldn't believe her eyes. She looked ridiculous and she said so.

Eboshi was disgusted. "You just don't know anything about fashion. I'll have you know that this is the finest and most expensive kimono I own. I was afraid those horrid tattoos would ruin the makeup, but they actually seem to complement your face. You look very splendid, San. If this doesn't convince Kei, then nothing will."

* * *

Ashitaka was bored. Out of everyone in her company, the lady had chosen only him to attend the banquet. Gonza had been insulted and upset. Seeing how Eboshi had won San's cooperation, it was obvious that the lady didn't need him for the time being. So why was he here? The banquet had begun in Lord Kei's great hall, and Eboshi and Kei were chatting about something but they were sitting too far away for him to hear. He looked around and met the bashful gazes of some young girls - Kei's nieces or something. Ashitaka briefly wondered if Eboshi had let on that he was unmarried. San was not there, and though he knew what Eboshi had mind for her that evening he still wasn't sure what to expect. It was then that he heard the howling.

"That sounded close ..."

"What was that ?"

Kei's guests looked at each other uneasily, and suddenly two large white wolves burst into the hall. Everyone screamed, except for Eboshi and Ashitaka. Growling, the wolves walked forward in long, confident strides. They could easily kill every one of the humans within minutes if they wanted to. Ashitaka knew this full well, and he figured Lady Eboshi also knew but had chosen to ignore it. 

Then a small, ethereal figure in brilliant red and gold entered, and Ashitaka himself would have sworn she was a ghost had he not recognized the mask and headdress. She walked forward with calm grace, and the wolves turned away from Kei's guests and ran snarling towards her at full tilt.

"Watch out, my lady!" a man cried. "They'll kill you!"

"It's all right," she said. She approached the wolves without fear, and they slowed down and stopped before her. The girl raised a hand, and after sniffing it for a few moments the wolves began to rub themselves affectionately against her. The crowd gasped in amazement, but Ashitaka paid no attention to them. His eyes were glued to the girl. 

The glowing girl walked forward until she stood before Lord Kei. "I am the Princess Mononoke!" she said, her strong voice resounding against the town walls. "My Lord Kei, the gods have given their blessings upon Lady Eboshi and Iron Town. We support them in their cause against your emperor. I ask you now to help my dear lady in her time of need. The gods are with her."

"Spirit, please remove your mask so that I may see the face beneath it!" Kei called.

She hesitated, then lifted up the mask. Underneath, her blue eyes and red tattoos blazed in contrast to the white makeup. Never had Ashitaka seen anything so magnificent, and his heart ached as he thought, _This is my San, who is so beautiful no matter how much she tries to deny it. And I'll never have her back again_.

"The Princess Mononoke is indeed very beautiful. Thank you for gracing my town with your presence, lovely spirit. I will consider this most important matter."

She nodded, bowed slightly to the lord and to Lady Eboshi, then jumped onto one of the wolves. They leaped away into the darkness. 

Ashitaka looked over to Eboshi and Kei, and the lady's trick must have worked for she and Kei were talking in earnest. He left the banquet to look for San, and he found her with her wolf brothers. She still wore the brightly colored kimono, but had wiped off the face paint.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny!" she was saying to them. "That was embarrassing!" She then caught his scent and glared at him. "What do you want?"

"I thought you were incredible," Ashitaka said quietly.

For a moment she said nothing, then coldly answered, "Well, I'm glad _you_ thought so." She turned away.

"Why won't you talk to me anymore?" he asked.

She looked at him and replied, "I didn't realize we had anything more to say to each other."

Her words cut his heart like a dull blade. "I can still be your friend, can't I? That's how it started for us."

San shook her head and said, "No. After all this is over I will never again have anything to do with humans. I'm sorry, Ashitaka." She jumped onto the back of one of her brothers, and they ran off together into the night. 

"So am I," he whispered sadly.

* * *

Kei's guests gasped and whispered that they had been visited by spirits and ghosts, and that this Lady Eboshi was blessed. 

"Did you see that girl? The wolves could have torn her apart but she was in command of them!"

"She was no girl. She was a spirit of some kind."

"Maybe she was the Shishi Gami ... the spirit of life and death."

"The gods are with the Lady Eboshi."

Eboshi smiled as she caught part of their conversations, but when she turned to Lord Kei she saw that he merely had a sardonic look on his face. 

"That was quite impressive, Eboshi," he said.

"I hope it was enough to impress _you_, my lord. Now that you see I have the blessing of the gods, can you now see fit to give me an army? I will compensate you, of course."

"The princess is very beautiful. If you give her to me, then you can have the army."

Eboshi was angry. "I'm sorry, but that's impossible. She's a spirit, not a human. She would never allow herself to be given away like that."

"Oh yes. Yes, of course. She's a spirit. What _was_ I thinking?" he said, grinning at her.

Eboshi looked at him sharply. _Damn him, he's mocking me_, she thought. "What will it take, Kei?"

"I will give you my advice. Stop this foolishness and agree to Osano's terms. Perhaps he'll still settle for half the iron, perhaps he'll want more. Either way, it's better than losing everything."

"I didn't ask for your advice; I asked for an army. Now what will it take?" she answered furiously.

"Will you listen to me? The emperor still has the power to execute you for treason," Kei said. "It's a big, bad world out there, little Eboshi, and more often than not it is working against you."

"So you think I should just hand over my iron works to Osano."

"I think you should choose your battles with more care. If you lose your town then you can at least move on to something else. If you fight and lose your life, then it's over."

"I will not give my town to those scavengers. You don't know how much I've sacrificed; how much pain we've all endured." She didn't notice Kei watching her closely as she rubbed the place where Moro had bitten off her arm.

"Eboshi, I know you've based your every action on proving me wrong -"

"Oh, you do _love_ to think so, don't you?" she snapped.

"I'm not wrong this time and you know it," he continued. "You may defeat Osano's army, but all the emperor needs to do is write a simple order on a scrap of paper and you're done for."

"I won't let that happen."

"Then what about your people? Have you told them they're about to go on a suicide mission?"

"It's not like that. We have the blessing of the spirits."

"Don't try that on me," Kei said. "I know better. You may be able to fool a bunch of brothel girls and ox-drivers with your pretty magician, but not me. Do these people really know what they're getting into?"

"They don't need to know," Eboshi answered. "They're loyal. They will do anything for me and the town."

"And you repay that loyalty by sending them to die."

"You would do the same and you know it."

"Yes, but I didn't think that _you_ could do it, Eboshi."

She turned to him, and there was such respect in his eyes that she could scarcely believe he was the same person who had scoffed at every one of her successful campaigns. "Why not?" she asked.

"Because I've seen you with them, and I've seen you with those lepers. You have a tender soul despite that ambition of yours."

"I wouldn't ask them to risk so much if I didn't truly think we had a chance. We _do_ have a chance, Kei."

He looked away from her. "All right, Eboshi. You may have your army."

She was surprised. "You were winning the argument, and you're still going to help me?"

Lord Kei gave a hearty laugh. "Was I winning? The little Eboshi I know would never concede an argument, not even with her dying breath." He became serious again and said, "Yes, I'll help you. But I expect to be paid, of course."

"Of course. But there's something else I need from you."

"What is it?" he asked warily.

"I brought a young man with me - a warrior. I'm going to send him to the emperor with a message."

"And I gather you need my name."

She sighed. "As much as I hate to say it; your name will bear more weight than mine. Will you do this for me?"

"I'm already giving you an army. How much harm can there be in officially signing my death warrant?"

Eboshi smiled. "Oh, come now. It's not as bad as all that."

* * *

In the following week, Eboshi and her company made special trips to the small villages that lay beyond the borders of Lord Kei's lands. It was in these places she had more success in convincing people that San was a goddess. The villagers were simple and more superstitious, and many went so far as to worship the Princess Mononoke; much to Eboshi's annoyance. But the lady reasoned that the important thing was they believed her and were willing to send their men into battle against their emperor. For a hefty price, of course. After all, these people were not complete fools. Eboshi was beginning to think it would be cheaper to simply give up Iron Town. Though the farmers were not the seasoned warriors of Kei's army, she would need to fling as many bodies as she could at Lord Osano. After his soldiers were worn down, then she would unleash Kei's men. She would make sure that the villages were amply compensated for.

* * *

They were finally on their way back to Taira after days of travelling from one village to the next. Ashitaka had to admit that Eboshi was impressive when it came to war. Still, he was not looking forward to the task at hand. "Wait, Yakul." There was San, kneeling by a pond and drinking water out of the palm of her hand. Ashitaka slid off the red elk and approached her, offering his bowl.

San knocked it away. "I don't need it."

"Take it," he replied softly.

"Fine!" She grabbed it and filled it with water. Flopping on the ground, she drank while glaring at him over the rim of the bowl. 

"Is that the behavior of a goddess?" Ashitaka asked, but she did not smile. He absently dipped his fingers into the pond, then immediately withdrew them. "The water is so cold. It must be beautiful in the summer, though."

San glanced at the pond. "Yes, it's cold."

Ashitaka took a deep breath. "San, I betrayed you and I was wrong. After this is over you'll probably go away and never talk to me again, but I need you to know that I'm sorry. It doesn't change anything between us, I know that. But..." He looked helplessly at her for a moment. She stared coldly back at him. "Anyway, I just needed you to know." He got up and walked away.

"The crystal dagger - who did it belong to?"

He turned, and she now stood before him looking suddenly vulnerable.

"It belonged to a girl in my village named Kaya. We were very close; she was like a sister. The elders had planned for us to marry someday. But then I got the demon mark, and on the night I left she gave me the dagger for luck."

"Do you wish you had married her?"

"I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had stayed home. But I don't regret defending my village, and I could never regret falling in love with you. You see, Kaya and I didn't have what you and I shared." It pained him to speak of their love like it was already long-dead.

"Thank you for telling me. And thank you for the bowl." She held it out to him, and he briefly touched her fingers as he took it from her. 

San began to leave, and he said, "I have something to tell you. I ..." She turned, and he faltered. "Eboshi has given me an important mission. I am to go to the emperor with a message."

She looked shaken, then angry. "The emperor is dangerous; he's our enemy and she's _sending_ you to him?"

"Eboshi wants me to convince him that she possesses no weapon that may help him against the shoguns."

"Don't go, Ashitaka. She's just using you, like she's using me. Can't you see that?"

"I've already decided to go. I think I might really be able to help."

San glared at him. "Fine! Throw your life away! I don't care, anyway!" She stalked away, and Ashitaka cursed himself. Why did he tell her? He had already known that she wouldn't understand.

* * *

It was early morning when Ashitaka set out from Taira with Eboshi's message. He untied Yakul and patted his friend's neck affectionately. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and it was San.

"What are you doing here?" he asked softly.

"I didn't want you to leave with anger between us. No matter what's happened, I still care for you." The hate and bitterness were gone, and her face betrayed a turmoil of emotions. Ashitaka couldn't resist. He touched her cheek, and she ducked her head away. "No! ... please ..." 

He backed away. "I'm sorry."

"Here, take this." She pressed something hard into his hand, and he saw it was the crystal dagger.

Ashitaka looked at her in surprise. "I thought you had gotten rid of this."

"I ... I kept it. I want you to take it. It brought you luck before, and I hope it will again."

He smiled. "Thank you, San; this means a lot to me." 

As San watched, he leaped onto Yakul and rode off.

to be continued

Note: Eboshi's plan to pass San off as a goddess to get soldiers isn't as far-fetched as it may sound. In ancient times, armies would jump into wars solely on the belief that their gods were fighting for them and would help them win. War gods were among the most highly revered in many cultures. However, I admit that I don't know if this rings true with Japanese culture and religion. Please remember that this is just a harmless fanfic and is not meant to be an accurate retelling of Japanese history. By the way, I should be wrapping this series up in the next story, so stay tuned.


	5. Surrendering the Soul

Waking Up V: Surrendering the Soul

by tbossjenn

"My lady, watch out! She's a traitor!" Gonza shouted. San charged him, sword drawn and screaming a battle cry. Eboshi had to pay, and this pig was not going to stand in her way. "Give it up, wolf," the warrior sneered at her. "You can't beat me!"

"But I already have, remember?" San growled. She ducked and jabbed him in the stomach with the butt of her dagger. The large man fell over with a groan. In the old days, she would have just killed him without a second thought. She truly had gone soft. 

Lord Kei, the man from Taira who had joined Eboshi in her war, now put himself in her way. "I won't let you kill her, pretty spirit," he said with a smile. "Not _now_."

San screamed in rage. "I'm not a spirit - I'm a wolf! I'll kill you if I have to!" This man was a much better warrior than Gonza, and San did not want to wear herself out. Killing Eboshi would be easy, but San wanted the lady to see her as she truly was: a wolf of Moro's tribe - a force to be feared. Impatient, San merely leaped above Kei's head and landed softly behind him. She charged the startled Eboshi and knocked her to the ground, pressing the blade against her throat. 

"Stay back, all of you!" Eboshi commanded, her eyes locked onto San's. To the wolf girl she said, "Now just _what_ do you think you're doing?"

"You killed my mother, and now you've sent my lifemate to die! I should have done this a long time ago!"

The lady's eyes were calm and steady. "Go ahead, but you should know that he's not doing it for _me_."

San froze with a choked sob, then slowly backed away from Eboshi. Laughing, Gonza rushed forward with his sword, but the lady said, "No! Don't touch her! Leave us."

"But, my lady, she tried to ..."

"I said leave us, Gonza. You too, Kei. I'll speak with you later."

San was trembling. "Oh, god, I let him leave without telling him," she said, sinking to floor. "And now ..."

Eboshi placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Ashitaka is a natural diplomat; look at all he has done for us. That's why I sent him. He's also a great warrior, which is why I'm sure he'll be all right."

San stiffened and brushed the lady's hand away. "He had better be."

* * *

"Stay down Yakul!" Ashitaka whispered, placing a cautious hand on the elk. The two of them were lying in a ditch close to the road, where a large company of horsemen were riding past. _I can't believe Lord Osano's samurai_ _have already come this far_, he thought. It would only be a matter of days before they reached Iron Town and lay siege to it. Lady Eboshi was also on her way with her newly acquired army, but he feared that she wouldn't get there in time. 

Ashitaka had been travelling for days by the main roads, and he hadn't expected to see the soldiers so soon. Now he and Yakul would have to find a way around, which would surely slow them down. The lady had asked them to move quickly and unseen, and had also warned that it was foolish to take Yakul. The samurai would recognize a man riding a red elk as being one of hers. Ashitaka had argued that Yakul was faster and more sure-footed than any horse, but now he realized that Eboshi had been right. With a horse he might have been able to pass himself off as an ordinary traveller. So far he had only managed to put his friend in danger.

He waited until the samurai had ridden out of sight before getting up. "Well done, my friend. Let's hope we won't be seeing anymore of them for awhile." Ashitaka jumped onto the elk's back and the pair rode into the dense woods that bordered the road. This forest, however, did not have the beauty of the one back home. Most of the trees were dead, and the trunks stood like tall skeletons. Rainfall had turned the ground into soft mud, and soon Ashitaka and Yakul were dirty and shivering. They moved slowly, for Ashitaka was afraid that the elk might trip and hurt himself. There was no sound except for Yakul's gentle breathing, and Ashitaka felt more exposed in this place than he did out on the road. _No good can come from this_, he thought.

Yakul suddenly tensed and raised his head, nostrils flaring.

"What is it?" Ashitaka asked softly. "Do you hear something?" He sat up and listened, but there was only silence. Yakul kept moving, but his body remained tense and his ears were pricked. Ashitaka fought back the urge to tell the elk to run. Doing so might cause Yakul to go lame or result in the two of them getting shot by unseen riflemen or archers. 

"Don't move," a cold voice ordered. A half a dozen samurai emerged from the trees; their arrows trained on them. "Who are you?"

"My name is Ashitaka."

"You're a spy for the Lady Eboshi of Iron Town. She has been seen with a young man on a red elk - _you_."

""I have since left Iron Town," Ashitaka replied. "I want to settle elsewhere."

"Yeah, right. You're coming with us."

Ashitaka couldn't get away from them, at least not now. "All right."

He soon found himself travelling for miles in the wrong direction, he didn't like to think about how quickly he'd have to move to recover that lost time. Assuming he'd be able to escape. They bound him to Yakul, and the elk obviously didn't like being pulled along by two horsemen. Ashitaka kept quiet and looked straight ahead. A wrong word or move would get them killed. They finally stopped and set up camp for the night, and he was dragged from the saddle and led to the commander's tent.

"Sir, this is the man we captured in the woods."

The man looked up from the papers on his desk and smiled. "Ah yes, you are the famous stranger who rides the elk! You know, many think you are a demon, like that Princess Mononoke."

"As you can see, I'm not a demon," Ashitaka replied. "I'm just a simple peasant in a land that is new to me. I'm not surprised that people would think I'm strange."

"Yet you _are_ surprised when we say you are a spy for Eboshi. Do you actually expect me to believe you just happened to leave Iron Town right before Eboshi went to war again with Lord Osano?"

"Believe what you want." 

"You will tell me what you're doing and where you're going!" the commander said, walking up to Ashitaka. "Why are you going south? To see the emperor? Why would you do this, seeing how he is also at war with Lady Eboshi?"

"I am not on a mission. I am merely a traveller."

"Insolent dog!" The commander punched him across the eye, and then in the ribs. Ashitaka staggered but did not lose his balance; his hands remained securely tied behind his back. "Tell me what I want to know!"

"I can tell you nothing." Ashitaka gasped as the commander gave him a swift kick to the gut. This time he fell to the floor gasping for breath. 

"Commander, here are his belongings. We took his weapons away when we first caught him." A samurai came forward with Ashitaka's pouch and rice bag, and the commander emptied the contents of the pouch onto his desk. He looked at the bowl and then absently threw it into the corner where it shattered. Ashitaka winced - it was one of the few things he had brought with him from home. After tossing Ashitaka's extra shirt aside and pocketing the few gold nuggets, he turned his attention to the now-empty rice bag. No doubt some samurai were now stuffing themselves with Ashitaka's food. The commander looked inside the bag and sighed. 

"Did you search him?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, I haven't found any letters but I'm still sure he was sent by Eboshi. Go tie him up outside, I'll deal with him in the morning. Kill the elk - it'll make a good supper."

Fear surged through Ashitaka. He could accept whatever happened to himself, but he couldn't let anything happen to Yakul. But how would he get himself untied? The soldiers dragged him out and threw him down beside a fire, and Ashitaka groaned sagged to the ground. Surprisingly enough, they left him alone. 

Cautiously, Ashitaka sat up and looked around. The soldiers were all clustered around other campfires that lay nearby, and no one had bothered to stay and keep watch over him. He lay on the ground and wriggled around for a bit until the crystal dagger had come loose from his neck. Picking the dagger up with his fingers, he was able to saw through the ropes on his wrists. _Thank you, my love_, he thought.

He crept slowly along the ground, then grabbed a soldier that was emerging from one of the tents. Even without the demon power, Ashitaka was strong enough to break the man's neck. Pulling the body back into the tent, he put on the armor and weapons and made his way towards where he thought Yakul would be. 

A fat samurai staggered towards him, grinning from ear to ear. "Where you been? Havin' a great time o'er there ...so great!" he slurred, leaning against Ashitaka. 

"I think you've had a little too much to drink," the young man laughed. "Why don't you sleep it off?"

"You're maybe right. Maybe ..." The samurai passed out. Ashitaka quickly looked around, but didn't see anyone else close by. He lowered the man to the ground and took his money, dagger, and arrows. 

"Thank you, friend," Ashitaka whispered, patting the samurai on the head. 

He soon found Yakul; the elk was being held by three men, and another was heading towards him with a knife. 

"Hurry up, will you?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry!"

Ashitaka walked quickly up behind the man with the knife and shoved his sword into his back. He pulled the sword out, and the dead man fell to the ground with a heavy *thud*. Stepping back, Ashitaka quickly knotched an arrow and it struck another man in the throat. The other two came running towards him, screaming. _Damn, I'd better move fast_, Ashitaka thought grimly. The first didn't have a sword, and he quickly took care of him in one upward stroke. The other tried to get past him in order to knife him in the back, but Ashitaka blocked his attacks and quickly finished him off. 

He ran to Yakul, but the frightened elk backed away from him. "Easy, my friend, it's me! Come on, we have to get out of here!" 

The camp had been alerted and soldiers ran for their weapons in a drunken haze. Ashitaka and Yakul went into the commander's tent, and Ashitaka reached down and picked his rice bag off the desk. "I'll be taking this back now," he said to the surprised commander, who recoiled from the fierce warrior. 

The pair disappeared into the darkness, and the stunned man whispered, "He _is_ a demon."

* * *

From then on, Ashitaka stayed off the main roads and managed to find old paths that were relatively clear. The samurai armor would have given him good cover, but riding a red elk would still have made him stand out. He had escaped Osano's soldiers rather easily, and he believed it was largely due to the samurai's drinking habits and Yakul's speed. Some horsemen had ridden after them, but the elk was better at finding his way in the dark than horses. 

He also owed his freedom to San, for she had given him the dagger. Ashitaka summoned the image of her face in his mind: white skin, red tattoos, clear blue eyes, soft brown hair. Beautiful. For the first time since the escape his spirits began to lift. He was on a peaceful mission, and killing those samurai had depressed him. The Emishi did not believe in uneccessary killing, though at the time it had seemed necessary. Now Ashitaka wasn't so sure. He prayed for their souls and asked them for forgiveness. He hoped that would be enough. 

Ashitaka and Yakul were nearing the imperial city of Yoshino, and Ashitaka had put his own travelling clothes back on. For some reason he found it important that he present himself as an Emishi prince even though he knew he couldn't tell the emperor where he was from. The walls of the city loomed above him, and it was even larger than Iron Town. He patted Yakul affectionately on the neck; more to reassure himself than the elk. He knew Yakul would follow him into hell without a single worry. They steadily approached the guards at the gate.

"State your business here, stranger."

"I've been sent by Lord Kei of Taira. I have a message for the emperor that I'm to deliver personally." Ashitaka showed them a medallion that bore Kei's seal. He was led to the emperor by an armed escort and found himself confronted by an elderly man in bright robes.

"Take off the mask. You will not cover your face in my presence." Ashitaka did as he was told, and the emperor snorted. "You're just a boy. What are you doing here?"

"My lord, I have a message for you from Kei of Taira," Ashitaka answered, bowing his head slightly and making sure not to look directly at the emperor. He unslung the empty rice bag from his shoulder and reached inside. The letter, along with the medallion, had been sewn into the lining of the bag. He stepped forward and handed the letter to the emperor.

After a few minutes, the old man remarked, "It says here that Kei has married the Lady Eboshi and is protesting the invasion upon his lands in Iron Town. I don't understand this. When was he married? Why didn't he notify me?"

"The marriage was very recent, my lord. It happened shortly before Kei got word of an attack on his new property." This was partially true - the hastily arranged wedding took place a day or two after Ashitaka left.

The emperor sighed. "I wish I had known of this before I gave that army to Lord Osano," he said regretfully. "An attack upon a woman is one thing, but I cannot afford to make an enemy of Lord Kei."

"Lord Kei does not hold any ill will against you, your majesty. He simply requests that he be allowed to defend his lands without fear of retribution."

The emperor was reading the rest of the message. "Hmmm ... he also says that there is no magical weapon in Iron Town. That means Osano lied to me."

"The Nightwalker became a god of death when its head was cut off. That's what destroyed Osano's army. The god regained its head shortly before it was killed by the sun. Now there is nothing left of its power."

"Then Osano did deceive me - and he caused me to go against one of my closest allies. You may not realize this, my boy, but I do not hold absolute power over this island. I am war with those who do - the Ashikaga shoguns, and I need to hold onto every friend I have. Especially Lord Kei of Taira." The emperor quickly scribbled something on a piece of paper and sealed it. "Take this back to him, and tell him that he has nothing to fear from me if he defeats my army."

"Thank you, my lord." Ashitaka bowed and prepared to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?!" the emperor said harshly. "I didn't dismiss you." He walked up to Ashitaka and examined him. "I have never seen anyone dressed like you before; and I was told you came here riding a large red elk. Who are you? Where are you from?"

"My name is Ashitaka, and I come from the east."

"That's no answer for an emperor, boy. Where in the east?"

"I can't tell you that."

"You refuse to tell your emperor!?"

"I will not put my village in danger, my lord."

"No, I can tell you won't. Even if I bothered to torture you, you still wouldn't tell me. You know, I have heard stories of tribes in the north and the east that live beyond my rule - beyond even the shoguns' rule. It was thought they were destroyed long ago, but they still exist." He glanced at Ashitaka, but the young man's face betrayed nothing. "Ah, no matter. I have more important things to worry about than a few small barbarian tribes. Go now, Ashitaka. Go and deliver your message."

* * *

San watched as Eboshi barked out orders to her men. They had been getting close to Iron Town when they suddenly found themselves blocked by Osano's samurai. Though Eboshi was still calm, San could tell that she was definitely not expecting battle so soon. The lady turned and went into her tent; San followed. Looking at some maps on her desk, Eboshi looked up and asked, " San, what can I do for you?"

"I want to know what's going on. You were planning to get back before Osano's army got here, weren't you?" 

Eboshi looked tired. "Yes, but he got his men here more quickly than I expected. Somehow he must have found out that I was onto him."

"What do you plan to do?"

"The only thing I can: fight through them all until we reach the town and hope that he won't have fresh troops waiting for us when we get there."

San began to pace. "That's all you can say? What if there are more men? What if you can't even get through at all?" She was furious - she had known the woman was full of empty promises.

Eboshi jumped up. "Look, what do you want from me? You should know by now that there are no gurantees in life, not for anything. I can't promise that Ashitaka will come back and I can't promise you that your forest will be safe. I can't ..." She sighed and sat back down. "I can't even promise my people that they will have homes when this is over."

"Is that why you married that man?" San asked. "For your people?" She had been curious about this. 

"Yes. I needed his name on the message I gave Ashitaka. Unfortunately, some problems can only be solved through marriage."

"Do you love him?"

"I suppose so - as much as I could ever love any man," Eboshi replied. "When I was young, I refused to get married just to please my father. I have never allowed myself to be forced into anything, but Kei and I have gotten to know each other over the years and he is a good man. He respects me, though he can be infuriating sometimes. The idea of belonging to a man for the rest of my life holds no more appeal to me now than it did before, but this time it was my choice."

"You gave up your freedom for your people."

"Not just for them. Like I said, San, I want to set things right."

* * *

Ashitaka sat and nibbled on his rice as the rain continued to beat down on him. It had been raining steadily all day. He figured they were almost halfway back, and they were making good time compared to their trip south. This was because he made very few stops along the way, stopping only when Yakul needed to rest. Yakul came up and prodded him with his nose, and Ashitaka chuckled and fed the elk some rice. "You don't mind this rain, do you my friend?" He was grateful he had Yakul with him; he considered the elk to be his greatest and most loyal friend in the world. 

Ashitaka found it important to get back to Eboshi as soon as he could. He knew she would encounter the samurai on her way to Iron Town, and he feared she might delay battle until he returned. But more than that, he wanted to get back to San. Using her crystal dagger had brought back intense memories of her - memories he had tried to bury when she left him. He kept the image of her face in his mind always, and every other thought he had was of her. Perhaps he was being foolish, for when they parted she had still mistrusted him. He knew that when he got back she might very well still hate him. Ashitaka didn't care - he only wanted to be near her again. To simply be near her would be better than having nothing of her at all.

"You're rested? Good, then let's get going." He put the uneaten rice back in his bag and jumped onto Yakul's back. Just a few days more, and he would be with her. Ashitaka prayed he would run into no more samurai. 

* * *

San screamed a vicious battle cry as she launched herself at the samurai. The trembling warrior took a few steps back, and San caught the strong scent of urine. She loved this. She was finally the wolf again - the wolf that made her prey shiver and smell of fear. Like this man. He absolutely reeked of fear. But he was clumsy, and this made the hunt boring. San decided to be merciful (unusual for a wolf, and this further supported her reasoning that she had gone soft) by giving him a quick death. 

She looked around for a challenge. Soldiers were fighting all around her, bolstered by her fierce courage. San was proud of this, for she knew she was protecting her forest by giving Eboshi's men her strength. Another samurai came running towards her now, shouting his own gutteral battle cry. This one had some real moves, and San had to use all her strength to counter his attacks. 

"Give it up, spirit. You're human, and you're going to bleed like one."

San growled, and the samurai paused for a second. Plenty of time. Afterwards, she took a moment to sniff his body, and was pleased to find that he had certainly been afraid when he died. The fear was what made this all worth it, whether the prey was animal or human.

She could hear Lady Eboshi shouting now; she was ordering her people to fall back. The riflemen had finally arrived. San was disgusted by guns - they were the weapons of cowards. The frightened samurai she had killed - the one who had urinated - he had died with more honor than Eboshi's riflemen would ever have. 

San retreated behind Eboshi's line, and the lady nodded to her. It was funny - Eboshi had spared her and even acted as her friend even though San had nearly killed her. San knew that she would have killed Eboshi if the lady hadn't known exactly what to say to dissuade her. San was still angry with her for sending Ashitaka away, and was even more angry at these samurai for threatening his life. Most of all, she was angry with Ashitaka for leaving. What had he been thinking? _Of me, he was thinking of me ..._ She couldn't bury this thought no matter how much she tried because she knew it was true. And for the first time she could remember since losing her mother, she was afraid. This kind of fear, though, was terrible. San just wanted Ashitaka back as soon as possible so she could wring his neck for making her worry so much. She just wanted him back.

On the way back to camp, San was assured by Eboshi that they were successfully pushing Osano's army back. At the moment, all San wanted was to eat and get some rest. Standing in line for rice, she noticed the men looking strangely at her, but she didn't care. She was tired of behaving like a goddess. San turned her head as she heard the guards yelling at someone. 

"Stop! Identify yourself!"

"It's Ashitaka," a tired voice said. "Get Lady Eboshi, she'll tell you."

San's heart stopped. There he was, standing beside Yakul and looking completely exhausted. His clothes were muddy and torn, and he was thinner than she remembered. Ignoring the protests of the guards, San ran to Ashitaka and flung herself into his arms. "I was afraid I'd never see you again!"

Trembling, Ashitaka put his arms around her waist and whispered, "San, is it you? What ... what is this?" He sounded unsure. 

"It's all right, I'm here now," she replied softly, pressing her face into his chest. That scent! How she had missed it. "I love you, Ashitaka. Do you understand? I _love_ you." His arms slowly crept from her waist to her shoulders and he drew her close, but still said nothing. "I thought I had lost you forever," she whispered. "I wanted to die."

He let out a choked sob. "Now you know how _I_ felt, love." 

San looked up into his eyes, and was shocked by how dull and lifeless they were. She could see, though, that they were slowly regaining their warmth. It was as if Ashitaka was waking up from some terrible dream. Suddenly, he collapsed against her and she struggled to hold him up. "Ashitaka!" 

"I'm very tired, San. Please, help me to bed. Please ..."

"All right," she said soothingly. San helped him over to her tent and laid him down on the bearskins. "You are so dirty, my love. What happened to you?"

Ashitaka was barely awake, but his gaze remained fixed on her. "San ... did you really mean it? You've forgiven me, even after what I did?"

"Hush, we'll talk about it later when you're feeling better. Right now, I think you should get cleaned up."

"Could you help me?"

San could have sworn she saw a wicked gleam in his eye. "Of course." After heating some water, she peeled off his mud-encrusted clothes. Propping him up on her lap, she began to scub off the dirt with a washcloth. 

Ashitaka had been dozing, but he awoke with a hiss as the hot water trickled over his skin. 

"Am I hurting you?"

He sighed in contentment. "No, it feels good. It's been so long since I've been anything but cold."

They said nothing to each other for awhile; they were reveling in the feel of each other's touch and in simply being with each other again. The girl was relieved to see that the smooth skin underneath was largely undamaged, though she frowned at the bruises she saw. She traced a finger along his chest, realizing she had forgotten how beautiful he was. Ashitaka leaned his head against her as she bathed him.

"You'll get my clothes wet, Ashitaka," she teased gently.

"I wouldn't mind if you had to take them off," he said with a grin. San bent down and they kissed ...

"Ashitaka! The Lady Eboshi wants to speak with you!" Gonza shouted from outside their tent. 

San snarled, letting Ashitaka's head thump to the ground.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, love, sorry!" she cooed, rubbing his cheek. "Leave us alone!" San yelled to Gonza. "He's mine now!"

"San, there's a letter in that bag. Give it to him and he'll go away."

She stormed outside and thrust the emperor's message into Gonza's hand. "Here! This is for Eboshi. Now go away!" San hurried back into the tent, only to find Ashitaka asleep. She smiled and shook her head - there was no use in trying to wake him now. He would be out for hours. "To think you put yourself through all that for a piece of paper," she remarked, lightly caressing his bruised eye. "I don't think I'll ever understand humans. Except maybe _you_, my Ashitaka." 

* * *

Ashitaka woke sometime later to find San snuggled up against him. Her face was exactly as he pictured it, except the blue eyes were closed at the moment. Though he was slowly beginning to remember the previous day, he half expected to wake up and find himself laying facedown in a ditch somewhere. Ashitaka touched San's cheek and she sighed in her sleep, murmuring something he couldn't quite hear. He kissed her, and she stirred in surprise before kissing him back.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"You're real."

"Yes, and so are you."

"Last night, you _did_ say -"

San leaned up on one arm. "I said I love you, and that was real too."

He could hardly believe it. "I love you, San." Tears began to trickle down his cheeks, but he made no effort to stop them.

"My warrior, how tough he is!" San teased. She leaned forward and kissed away his tears. "Is that better?"

"No, this is," he replied, pressing her gently into the furs and drawing her into a deep kiss.

"Mmmm, I missed that." She gasped softly as his kisses found their way down her throat. "I missed _you_, Ashitaka."

"I came back for you, San," he breathed into her ear. "I only wanted to get back to you, even if you still hated me."

"Really?" So much happiness in that single word.

"Yes." Ashitaka paused for a moment and pulled away from her. "But how can you forgive me?"

San smiled and drew him back down to her. Her arms wound around him and he nestled his head into the hollow of her neck. She finally said, "I love you too much not to."

* * *

Lady Eboshi greeted Ashitaka with a warm smile. _How well he looks! _she thought. But then that was to be expected when one was reunited with their lost love. "I'm so glad you were able to return to us with barely a scratch on you," she said to him. "Though I understand you did have some difficulty."

"Yes, I ran into a group of samurai, but I managed to escape thanks to San." The young man smiled at the girl, who squeezed his hand in return. Eboshi had keep herself from rolling her eyes. Young lovers were hard to tolerate; they were always mooning about with dreamy expressions on their faces. She hoped the couple wouldn't be too distracted from the task at hand.

"You did very well, Ashitaka," Lord Kei said. "This letter you brought ensures that the emperor won't have our heads if we manage to take back the town. Now the problem lies in getting there."

Eboshi frowned. "Yes. As you probably know, Osano has already cut us off from Iron Town."

"How did he find out?" Ashitaka asked.

"He may have sent scouts on ahead, or maybe Jiko double crossed us," the lady said. "Who knows? What matters is what's happening now. We've slowly been pushing our way closer, and my scouts tell me that Toki and the others have been holding their own. Still, I'm not sure if we can make it before the town falls. Not at the rate we've been going." Eboshi ran her hand through her hair in frustration. All this work and sacrifice - she couldn't let it all be for nothing. 

San spoke up suddenly. "We'll leave."

"What?" Eboshi was confused.

"We'll pack up and leave, then double back through the forbidden forest," the girl explained.

"Well, I'm impressed," Kei said, grinning at Eboshi. "What do you think, darling?"

"It would take longer - we'd have to move quickly," the lady said thoughtfully. "But we would probably have a better chance going around the samurai then through them." To San she said, "Are you sure you want an army going through your forest? Wouldn't we disturb things quite a bit?"

"If that's what it takes to save it," San answered.

Eboshi shook her head in wonder. This wolf girl was certainly full of surprises. "All right, then. I agree with San. We'll have to hurry - order everyone to break camp immediately. I want to be out of here as soon as possible." 

She went over to her desk and began to organize her papers. When she looked up, she saw that everyone had left but Kei. "What is it?" she asked softly.

"Why did I let you drag me into this mess, Eboshi?" he asked.

"I had thought the emperor's message would make you feel better."

"It's nice to know I won't be executed for treason. But why did I let you talk me into this to begin with?"

"Because you love me, you always have. I could always see it, even though you tried to hide it."

"And you've turned it against me," Kei said bitterly.

"Please don't think of it like that," she said gently. "You want to know what you're getting in return? I'll come with you and be the lady of Taira. I'll be your wife and I'll give you daughters and sons." She smiled. "My dowry's not that bad, either."

"You want Iron Town so badly that you would give it up and be with me?"

"Come now, you must have known I would have married you eventually. You're the only person in the world who has ever won an argument with me."

Kei smiled and took her hand in his. "Thank you, wife."

* * *

"I've been thinking," San said. "It's time we talk and get everything out in the open. No more secrets." The two of them were on the hillside overlooking the camp. 

Ashitaka lay on his back with his head in her lap. "All right."

"I'll live with you in the hut and be nice to the people in Iron Town. I especially want to learn how to use chopsticks again."

He chuckled. "I thought you hated them."

"I think it's a very cute human habit, even if it's pretty silly. Now, here's the rest of it. I won't try to become more human. I like myself as I am. I'll go hunting with my brothers and kill as a wolf. I will always belong to Moro's tribe. I like Toki and Korouku, but I will probably never be very close to other humans."

Ashitaka nodded. "All right, my turn. I promise to stop trying to make you into a "proper" girl, whatever that is."

She smacked him playfully. "I'm not proper?"

"You know what I mean. You're perfect just as you are, and I was a fool for not realizing it sooner."

"I can't disagree with you there."

"Anyway, I couldn't bear to lose you again. Once was bad enough." 

He had stopped speaking, and San said, "That's not everything, Ashitaka, and you know it. I told you what I want - to be with you and stay the way I am. Tell me what _you_ want."

Ashitaka reached up and brushed her cheek. "Besides you? I want a family. I want to have the same feeling of home that I had in my village."

"And you think you might not be able to have those things with me," she said sadly.

He sat up and looked into her eyes. "I don't think that at all. You're simply different, and that's what I love most about you. You'll always be home to me. By the way, I think this belongs to you." Ashitaka took off the crystal dagger and gave it back to her. She kissed him and they held each other close.

"HEY! What are you two doing up here!?" Gonza huffed, towering over them.

Ashitaka shaded his eyes. "Where did you come from?"

"The lady ordered everyone to pack up and move out!" the captain shouted.

"We've already packed our things; we were just waiting for everyone else," Ashitaka answered.

"Why don't you get down there and help us, then?" Gonza demanded.

"Why don't _you_ leave?" San said. "We've both helped you people enough for right now. Besides, Ashitaka's still recovering from his dangerous journey."

"Yes, and she's nursing me back to health," Ashitaka added with a grin. 

Gonza just looked at them, then stomped away grumbling something about insolent traitors.

"He sure knows how to show up at the wrong time," San remarked.

"And you did such a good job of sending him away."

"I'm glad we were able to get away from them for awhile. I miss our hut; it's so nice and private there, and it's close to the forest. I'm getting sick of being around these humans all the time."

"I know," he said, rubbing her shoulders. "Thank you for helping Eboshi. I don't think she could have done all this without you."

"I'm only responsible for the peasants. Eboshi actually went and married that lord to get his army."

"That was something, all right. But I'm sure there's more to their marriage than that."

"I guess so." 

They sat in silence for awhile, then San burst out: "Ashitaka, will you marry me?"

He looked at her in stunned surprise, then laughed softly. "Of course I will, my love," he said, gathering her into his arms. "Of course I will."

* * *

Eboshi's army was a day's journey from Iron Town when they received word that the town had fallen to Osano. The lady shut herself away in her tent, refusing to see anyone. She needed time to think. There was still hope - she knew this. Let Osano think he has beaten her. Let him get as cocky as he pleased. Eboshi would soon get her chance to strike him down. 

A voice called to her from outside. "Eboshi? Come on now, I know you're not in there crying yourself to sleep. Let me in. Tell me what imaginative scheme you've conjured."

Eboshi smiled. "Come in, I knew I couldn't keep you out for long." Her husband entered, and though he appeared to be in good spirits, she could tell that he was actually in a gravely serious frame of mind. It was times like this that he put on his best face, and she admired him for that. 

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing. I was just trying to think of the best way to approach the town. Osano will know we are here, and he'll be ready for us."

"You're tired, you should rest. Let me do some of the thinking for awhile."

"No, you don't know the area as well as I do. You couldn't possibly plan an attack as well as I can."

"You'd be surprised. Don't turn your poor husband away."

Eboshi leaned back against him. "I'm worried about my girls, Kei," she said. "Even though they worked in the brothels, no woman wants or deserves to be raped. I'm afraid for them."

"I know. But we'll come up with a brilliant strategy, save the day, and have a huge festival to celebrate. And _then_ you can show me my iron."

Eboshi turned around furiously to face him, and he grinned mischievously back at her. She laughed. "Kei?"

"Hmmmm?"

"I think I might like being married to you."

He bent down and kissed her head. "Thank you. I don't think being married to _you_ will be so bad, either."

A voice called to her from outside. "My lady! A messenger from Lord Osano!"

Eboshi and Kei went outside where a cocky looking young man was waiting for them.

"Lady Eboshi, this is an honor," he said in a mocking tone. "My Lord Osano says you have been a worthy opponent, but he must sadly end this little fight. Turn back now and you won't be annihilated."

Eboshi smiled. "Just who do you think you are, coming into my camp and speaking to me like that?"

"I am Takashi, Osano's nephew."

"I can see your uncle never bothered to instruct you in the ways of diplomacy."

Takashi snorted. "You wouldn't dare do anything to me."

"Maybe she wouldn't, but I think I would," Kei said, stepping forward. His hand rested on his sword.

"Who are you?"

"Lord Kei of Taira and Iron Town. The town and its lands belong to me now, by right of marriage. Or haven't you heard?"

The young man suddenly looked nervous. "Osano demands your surrender."

Kei laughed. "Look at this army! It's mine, and it's one of the finest on this island. Osano thinks he can hide behind the emperor? I am among the emperor's closest allies. His blessing may be with your uncle, but he won't lay a hand on me or my wife if we happen to win this war."

"Osano has a great army too, he will beat you!" 

"Do you think these men are afraid of Osano?" Kei demanded, raising his voice. The nearby soldiers turned their heads sharply, and whispering began to circulate among the crowd. "Do you think they will back down from a challenge?" Shouts began to echo in the cold air. 

Eboshi called, "San, would you come over here please?" The girl approached with the white wolves. Her mask was pulled firmly down in place, and a wicked grin was visible.

"This is the Princess Mononoke," Eboshi said. "She is the princess of the beast gods in this forest, and they are not happy with your uncle. The gods are with us, and we are not afraid. Thank you for delivering your message, Takashi. San, he's all yours."

Trembling, Takashi backed away as the wolf girl advanced. His terrified screams rang out as Eboshi and Kei walked back to their tent. "That was a mean trick, Eboshi," Kei remarked. "San will scare that poor boy to death."

"He deserves it. Nobody talks to me like that. Besides, he'll go back to Osano with some interesting stories to tell."

"Maybe he'll even surrender."

"Don't count on it."

"Eboshi!" The pair turned and saw San running towards them. "The pig says that Osano plans an attack for early morning. Sending his nephew was a trick."

Kei looked at his wife. "It looks like this will end at last."

"Yes, but we're ready."

* * *

The cheers of the army swelled as San rode among them upon the white wolf. She wore her own dress with white fur tunic and the wolf headdress. There was no need for theatrics now, for though the beautiful kimono had made her noticed, it was her fierce skill in battle that had made her a true goddess to these men. Eboshi had told her that an army would follow a goddess into hell, and San finally realized that she was right. However, this was also proof that humans could believe in something greater and more powerful than themselves, and San marvelled at this. 

Eboshi bowed to her and said, "Princess Mononoke, thank you for your presence on this battlefield. Please give us your strength."

"I will help as much as I can. I thank you for trying to save my forest."

"Look! It's Osano's army!"

The women turned and saw them: men appearing from the thickness of the trees.

"Riflemen forward!" Eboshi ordered. Her voice was tense, but steady. San drew her dagger, then quickly looked around for Ashitaka. He returned her anxious gaze with a warm smile. Yakul was not there - Ashitaka had preferred to keep his friend out of danger. She smiled back and then said a quick prayer to the Forest Spirit. _Please, great spirit, don't let this be the end for us ..._

The armies faced each other, then Osano's bowmen stepped forward. A hail of arrows rained down, and men cried out. 

"Fire!" Clouds of smoke burst out as the rifles fired. This time the cries came from the other side; louder because samurai armor gave little protection against solid iron bullets. More arrows, more riflefire. More screams. On and on and on. 

San felt her brother grow wary and impatient. "How long will this go on, San? At this rate we'll be sitting here all day."

"I don't know. Just be ready for anything." Then the first wave of Osano's forces surged foward.

Eboshi glanced at San. "Stay where you are. We still have plenty of ammunition." The samurai fell in numbers, and San couldn't help but feel sorry for them. These men were probably paid recruits like Eboshi's own soldiers, and no warrior should have to die this way. It was so cowardly. "First wave, attack!" the lady yelled. The riflemen quickly stood aside as the footsoldiers advanced. These were the villagers, the less experienced ones who had honored San as a great goddess. She wondered what they were thinking now. Bodies clashed together, and she could no longer make out anything. San wanted to join them, to be with the people who fought under her name. Eboshi still held her back. "Not yet, San. These men are untrained, and each man will try and kill anyone who comes within his sight. Maybe even his own people without realizing it. They're wearing Osano's men down. Later I'll unleash the real army, and you'll be with them."

"You're a monster."

"Maybe. Probably. But that's what it will take to get your forest back, and don't you forget it. For now we must wait."

They waited for what seemed like forever as Eboshi sent groups of reinforcements in regular intervals. Lord Kei rode up and talked to his wife. "How are we doing?"

"I'm not sure. It's hard to tell just from looking at that mess. Are your men ready? I've just about exhausted our supply of farmers."

"They're ready."

"Very well. Stand by, then. San?"

The wolf girl looked at her coldly. "You are ready for me now?"

"Not quite. I'm sending Ashitaka."

Fear surged through San, and she quickly tried to suppress it. Ashitaka was a great warrior, he would survive this. He had already survived so much. And so had she. A large group of men stepped foward, along with Ashitaka. These were the first of Kei's trained and highly skilled army. San slid off the wolf's back and ran to her lifemate, embracing him.

"It's all right. Everything will be all right," he said. He was so calm. 

She smiled and nodded. "I just want to make sure you won't do anything stupid, like get yourself killed."

"I won't. I promise."

They kissed quickly, and then he left with the rest of the men. San lost him in the crowd of fighting warriors.

"Next wave, get ready!" Eboshi shouted. "San, this is you." 

The wolf girl took a deep breath, focusing her energy. She was not afraid.

"Will you do the honors?" the lady asked.

San nodded, then took a deep breath. "Let's go!" she shouted, urging her brother on. The girl and the wolves led the charge, and she was immediately assaulted by the strong scent of sweat, blood, and fear. This was not like fighting those other samurai, for now there were many men crushing together in an endless sea of bodies. Dimly she heard a call from the other side, and could tell that more of Osano's samurai were entering the fray. More men to kill. Samurai were running towards her now, and she leaped off her brother and held her dagger ready. They were good fighters, but her superhuman reflexes gave her the definite advantage. Three dead, countless more to go. They kept coming and coming, and she did her best to fight through them. Kei's soldiers were fighting beside her, and they were indeed very skilled. Eboshi had planned this all very well.

San kept a look out for Ashitaka, but she could neither see nor smell him. Her senses were overwhelmed, and she feared she would be driven mad by the chaos around her. As she fought a samurai, several more caught her from behind. She kicked and snarled in fury, but they laughed. 

"A sweet little prize!"

"No time. Just kill her."

Suddenly, the two white wolves fell upon the samurai and crushed the startled men in their jaws.

"San, are you injured?"

"Thank you, my brothers. I'm all right," she gasped. One of them had grabbed her throat, and she struggled to catch her breath. "Have you seen Ashitaka?"

"I saw him, he was fighting somewhere back there," one of them answered, glancing over his shoulder.

She nodded. "All right. Keep fighting, this isn't over yet."

* * *

Ashitaka moved slowly through the battlefield, carefully stepping over the bodies of the dead and wounded. It was over, and from what he could tell he figured that Eboshi had won. At a high cost. He clutched his arm to his side. One of the samurai had managed to get him pretty good, but he would be all right. Ashitaka was looking for San. He couldn't find her.

Lord Kei walked up to him. "Ashitaka!" You're all right. Good. You should get yourself to a healer."

"Where's San? Have you seen her?"

"No, not since my wife sent her into battle. I'm sure she's fine, now why don't you come with me ..."

"No! I'm not going anywhere until I find San," Ashitaka said firmly. He walked away, occasionally bending down to look at the faces of the dead.

"Ashitaka!"

He whirled around, and there was San running towards him. _She's alive. Thank the gods ..._ She threw her arms around him, and he held her tight. "You're all right? You and your brothers?"

"Yes, we're fine," she whispered, pressing against him. "Everything's all right, now. Take me away from all this death, Ashitaka. Please?"

"All right."

* * *

Once Eboshi had managed to defeat Osano's army, Iron Town easily fell back into her hands. Kei and Eboshi sent the lord away in disgrace, for he now had to confront an emperor that was no longer friendly towards him. The town had been torn apart during the siege and had to be rebuilt again. Eboshi imagined that she would spend the rest of her life rebuilding the town in some way or another. The people left behind to defend it were all right, though some of the women were noticeably silent. 

Several weeks after the town had been cleaned up, Eboshi held a much needed celebration that was topped off by the highly anticipated wedding of Ashitaka and San. San disappointed her - the wolf girl wanted no parts of her plan to hold an extravagant wedding. She merely wanted to be officially wedded to her lifemate; a task that required no fancy clothes and would take only a few minutes. The lady had tried to make Ashitaka convince the girl that tradition and honor were at stake, but the young warrior merely grinned and shrugged. He would stand by his love for the rest of his life, that was for sure. Eboshi supposed that she was trying to make up for skimping out on her own wedding. Damn that Osano. 

The wolves by her side, San wore her blue dress with white fur tunic, and the wolf headdress was pushed up. Ashitaka was dressed as he was when he first arrived in Iron Town, and Eboshi imagined that this was how the couple looked when they first met. Despite her gruff appearance, San was as radiant as any bride the lady had ever seen. Perhaps even more so. Ashitaka could not keep his gaze off the girl. 

The priest stepped forward, eyeing the wolves nervously. "Who speaks for these two people?"

On San's behalf, the white wolves stepped forward and growled. They would not actually lower themselves by speaking to a human. Eboshi then said, "The wolves speak for San. I speak for Ashitaka. They have the blessing of the forest and of the town."

Ashitaka took San's hands in his own. "I know that our love will bind us always," he said softly. "We will always be home for each other, San. May we never wake up from this wonderful dream." Together, the pair drank from a ceremonial cup.

"May the gods give their blessing upon this special union," the priest said. Ashitaka bent forward and gave his bride a gentle kiss. 

"I love you San," he whispered to the girl.

Eboshi felt slightly envious. She knew that she and Kei did not share this same bond, but perhaps someday they would. Someday.

* * *

The young couple walked side by side along the edge of the lake, followed by an elk and two white wolves. He leaned his head close to hers and whispered something that made her laugh. She was cold, so he wrapped his own cloak around her shoulders. 

"I'm warm now," she said, snuggling up against him. "Thank you."

He caressed her cheek. "Anything for you, love." Ashitaka reached out and touched the gentle swell of her belly. 

San giggled. "That tickles."

He held her close. "Soon it will get warmer, and we can go swimming again."

"Yes, many things will come," she said softly.

They kissed and continued on their way home. 

the end

Note: *Whew!* Finally done. Sorry this one took so long, but I kept getting stuck and I've also been really busy lately. This one also wound up being a lot longer than the other ones. I have to mention a couple of nitpicks that bother me as the author: I spelled Asano's name wrong. A couple of stories into it, I saw that his name begins with an "A", not an "O". My bad. Also, I wish I had called Iron Town Tatara Ba because it would have fit better with the other Japanese names. Oh well. For those of you who might want to lecture me on Japanese culture or on the behavior of the characters should keep in mind that **this is just fanfiction**. If I got anything wrong (I'm sure I probably did) then don't take it seriously. Other than that, I hope this fanfic series entertained you and I would love feedback on it. Thanks for reading.


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